As we enter the month of Elul, Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar, author of Unfolding: A High Holy Day Companion from CCAR Press, shares a reflection on beginning the journey toward the High Holy Days with intention, openness, and love.
Our holidays are based upon three layers of meaning. They draw their roots from history, their grounding from the land and people of Israel, and they are air to the spirits seeking transcendence.
I wrote Unfolding: A High Holy Day Companion because I needed to consider—to contemplate my place in the world, to dwell in beauty, to forgive and be forgiven. To breathe.
And so I begin on the ninth of Av. The history of this date is well known to us; we teach its events (including the fall of the two Temples) and consider their relevance for today. So relevant today. But as a student of the spirit, I was drawn to the third layer: the metaphor of destruction. I was looking for a spiritual trajectory that begins in the dust and ashes of hurt, of brokenness, of years of accumulated pain and disappointment. Lingering in those places softens the heart and opens our vulnerabilities, preparing us for a month-long contemplation of the Elul lessons of love—love of self, love of others, love of God. To be beloved.
Elul inevitably coincides with our secular busyness: the end of vacations and camp, the beginning of school and college, High Holy Day cue sheets and choir rehearsals. We forget to breathe. And yet, to begin again, to create again, to renew and revitalize and marvel at an ever-evolving creation—these are the spiritual themes of Rosh Hashanah, and we need that entire month to think about love. Then a quick ten days to repent, repent, repent, reaching toward Yom Kippur and her swinging gates of forgiveness and joyful living.
We teach what we need to learn. I have learned to sit by a window every day, or nearly, during the months leading up to the holiest days of the year. To offer air to my distracted spirit and prepare myself to change a little, to shift a bit, to better my days and deepen their purpose, their meaning.
From Unfolding: A High Holy Day Companion, I offer this intention as we take our place by the windows of meaning:
A Thousand Sparks of Light
I am a thousand sparks of light
and have traveled an ancient distance
of time and space.
I am connected to the Source.
I am a thousand sparks of light
carried upon waves of darkness—
chaotic void.
I am in formation.
And every day
I am invited to listen
for my calling
to be
and to do
and to create
and to love
and to forgive
and to remember
that I have traveled
a great distance
to be called
to say yes to life.
Rabbi Karyn D. Kedar is an author, poet, spiritual counselor, inspirational speaker, and rabbi emerita at Congregation B’nai Jehoshua Beth Elohim in Deerfield, IL. She is the author of Omer: A Counting, Amen: Seeking Presence with Prayer, Poetry, and Mindfulness Practice, and Unfolding: A High Holy Day Companion, all from CCAR Press.
