Rabbi Nancy Wiener, DMin, is the author of Beyond Breaking the Glass: A Spiritual Guide to Your Jewish Wedding from CCAR Press. In this excerpt, Rabbi Wiener explores the history and symbolism of the chuppah in Jewish wedding ceremonies.
At a Jewish ceremony, it is under the chuppah, the nuptial canopy, that the extraordinary transformation marked by kiddushin traditionally occurs. Originally, a bride’s arrival under the chuppah symbolized her entrance into her husband’s domain and becoming a member of her husband’s household. In the grand scheme of Jewish history, the central place of the portable chuppah at a Jewish wedding is fairly recent, dating only from sometime in the sixteenth century. Nonetheless, today in America, most Jews and many non-Jews recognize the chuppah as one of the most distinctive and enduring ritual objects and symbols of a Jewish wedding. As we explore some of the meanings that the chuppah has had and some of the forms that it has taken, perhaps you will be inspired to look at the chuppah in new and meaningful ways.
Chuppah literally means “covering.” This covering demarcates the holy space in which a Jewish couple affirms the sanctity of their relationship. In earlier times, when Jews often held weddings on market days, the chuppah was a physical means of distinguishing the special area in which the wedding ceremony occurred from the surrounding hubbub. In a very real sense, no matter where your wedding takes place, there will be inherent distractions for all who are present; the chuppah continues to focus attention upon you and the holy space in which your lives together will be transformed.
Chuppot (the plural) have taken a wide variety of forms, from the canopied couches for brides and grooms of medieval Central Europe, to an embroidered parochet, or ark cover, to simple but luxurious cloths, such as silks and velvets suspended on poles or draped over a couple’s shoulders. In some Jewish communities in Asia, a tallit was placed over the heads of the couple until after the Sheva B’rachot, when it was removed. In other communities, the bride’s family bought the groom a new tallit, which both sets of parents placed on their children’s heads at the start of the ceremony. Standing under a bower of flowers also has a long history. Unlike the case for many other Jewish ritual objects, there are no requirements for chuppot.
Today, from an egalitarian perspective, the chuppah is most commonly understood as a symbol of the new home that you are establishing together through your kiddushin. As such, your chuppah can convey some of the qualities you hope to enjoy in your future life together.
A large chuppah is reminiscent of the nomadic tents used long ago by our Jewish ancestors. Such a tent roof with no walls might seem to lack form and strength, much like the new family and the new home you are establishing. However, such a tent is also flexible; it can adapt to variable circumstances and withstand harsh, abrupt changes that a more rigid structure might not. Your new home can be filled with acts of love and kindness, a place in which guests are always welcome, as they were in the tents of our ancestors Abraham and Sarah.
Like the chuppah, your new home will be inhabited by you, surrounded by your family and friends, honored by representatives of the many communities to which you belong, and protected by the sheltering presence of God. Your chuppah may be of any size, so it is up to you to decide whether it will cover only you, you and the rabbi, you and your immediate families, or you and your entire wedding party. The options are numerous, as are the meanings you are choosing to convey. To help figure out the right size for you, ask yourselves: what is the relationship between you and your new home, you and your family, you and your community? Agreeing on answers to these questions can serve as a practical guide to your decision regarding the size of your chuppah.
In some communities it is customary for the chuppah to be freestanding; in others, it is hand-held by members of the wedding party. In either case, it is considered an honor to be a chuppah holder, whether the task is real or symbolic. Some communities own chuppot that members can rent or borrow. In areas with sizeable Jewish communities, florists have chuppot that they use or make.
Alternatively, many couples choose to make or buy their own, or they ask family or friends to join in creating one for (or with) them. As a ceremonial object, it is intended to heighten the beauty of your. marriage ceremony, to be a reflection of the enduring Jewish custom of hidur mitzvah, the embellishing of a holy act. Therefore, your chuppah can reflect your aesthetic sense; you can choose the design, the material, the decoration, and the poles. In ancient Jewish communities the poles were made from trees, a cedar for a boy and an acacia for a girl, which parents had planted when their children were born. There are many artists who design and make chuppot, either for or with the couple.
Rabbi Nancy Wiener, DMin, is the founding director of the Jacob and Hilda Blaustein Center for Pastoral Counseling at Hebrew Union College in New York. She is the author of Beyond Breaking the Glass: A Spiritual Guide to Your Jewish Wedding from CCAR Press.
