Author: Merle Feld

Categories
CCAR Press Women in the Rabbinate

‘Let my people go that we may serve You’: A Poem in Honor of Rabbi Sally J. Priesand

This poem was commissioned by the Women’s Rabbinic Network in honor of Rabbi Sally J. Priesand, the first woman ordained as a rabbi in North America. It was written by Merle Feld, a pioneering Jewish feminist poet, and is featured in Feld’s new collection from CCAR Press, Longing: Poems of a Life.

Let my people go that we may serve You
For Rabbi Sally Priesand (HUC-JIR 1972) and Lisa Feld (HCRS 2023)

Remember girdles? Remember the anger
we weren’t supposed to show, or even feel? 
Remember sitting and waiting to say Bar’chu
as someone counted, Not one, not two . . .
The being invisible, the tears blinked back, 
fiercely. Remember the love, the innocence 
assaulted, hearing for the first time, those words,

and those words, and those, such words
in a holy book, demeaning me, you, us?
All these years later, I feel the pain, rising, 
constricting, afflicting. Remembering. Searching 
for a reason to stay: love is stronger than death.

Tears became anger—that word—the ultimate 
weapon. She’s an angry woman (so we can
ignore her, put her down, close our ears and hearts). 
Blessed be the allies, calling for the first time
from the bimah—Taamod! The ones who broke 
through the tight circles on Simchas Torah

and passed us a scroll to hold, to dance with.
The ones who said yes, yes, yes. And yes.
And we, the wrestlers—I won’t let you go
till you bless me. The lust, the longing, to learn,
to leyn, to lead, to bensch, to be counted, to be 
called, to locate our wisdom, to inhabit our power

and our tenderness, to build holy communities, 
fully and richly as ourselves, as Jewish women,
as rabbis—I won’t let you go till you bless me.
Now, and going forward, now, and for tomorrow,
My heart soars, it flies, it bursts. From Sally to Sandy,
to Sara, from Amy and Amy to Annie, to Ariel,

Deborah, Devorah, wave after wave after wave,
I see joyous throngs—there’s Rachel, and Hara, Jen,
Jamie, Jessica, Jan, and Kara. There’s Sharon, and Sharon, 
and Sharon! Too many to name—we’re just getting started! 
For so long, the world was unimaginable with you in it,

now, we cannot imagine a world without you.
We bless the work of your hands, we bless
the work of your hearts. We are blessed, to be here, 
still, just at the beginning.

Commissioned by Women’s Rabbinic Network in honor of Rabbi Sally J. Priesand

Merle Feld is an acclaimed poet, playwright, educator, and activist. Her previous works include her memoir A Spiritual Life and the poetry collection Finding Words.

Categories
CCAR Press Poetry

A Memoir in Poetry: Writing ‘Longing: Poems of a Life’

In this CCAR Press interview, Merle Feld, author of Longing: Poems of a Life, discusses her creative process, what sets Longing apart from her previous work, and what she hopes readers will take away from her pieces.

What inspired the creation of Longing?

It started with a single poem, “In the corner,” my earliest recollection. The entire book unfolded from that memory. It’s an innocent poem, the voice of a very young child, maybe age three. But then in the poem that follows, the child recalls memories which are painful, terrifying, anything but innocent. This first section of the book is the most difficult, because nothing matches the helplessness of a child.

How did you select which poems to include in the book?

As many more poems came to me, I eventually realized that the book had a shape—childhood; then adolescence, a treacherous time for a girl; young love, learning as a couple how to fight, pick up the pieces, grow together. A series of poems re-engaging with the four-day vigil as my mother was dying; poems capturing a succession of cherished friends, for me an endlessly fascinating and important subject. Next, some tales of the small town in which I’ve lived for the past twenty-six years. And finally, many facets, faces, of aging. In the end it turned out I’d written a memoir in poetry.

Longing engages with both painful and joyous moments from your life. What was it like to revisit these experiences?

The book is an ongoing conversation with myself that I hope will provoke conversations in my readers. I’m still in the midst of that exploration: though a book has gone to press and is out in the world, the inner conversations continue. I learn from my writing, find new wisdom, perhaps more peace, but the next question is not far behind. And after a rest, the next poem. Especially meaningful in this process are the many accounts of how Longing has fostered deep introspection and connections for readers, that the poems inspire them to reflect on their own life stories. Not why I wrote the poems, but why I published them.

What makes Longing different from your previous books?

Longing opens a vista acquired from decades of experience through the eyes and heart of a mature person seeking discernment, healing, summoning unprecedented courage. The parallels with and contrasts to my first book, A Spiritual Life (SUNY Press 1999; revised 2007), are striking. The voice in those poems is that of a young woman, grounded in home-making, child-making, questions of career, creativity, and nascent activism, but above all, joyously celebrating her newly reclaimed Jewish identity and vigorously advocating for feminist changes, many of which are normalized in our current realities. In a way, the two volumes bookend one another.

What do you want readers to take away from the book?

We are capable of tremendous resilience.

Listen, to others and to yourself.

Notice if you are inexplicably sad, or angry—find help and be courageous.

You don’t know the stories that have shaped another person: be respectful, gentle, kind.

Little children matter.

In the end, each day is gratitude.

Learn more and order the book at longing.ccarpress.org. Watch the video of the book launch, featuring a conversation between Merle Feld and Rabbi Hara Person, CCAR Chief Executive.

Merle Feld is an acclaimed poet, playwright, educator, and activist. Her previous works include her memoir A Spiritual Life and a poetry collection, Finding Words.