Rabbi Peter Kessler’s Pride Reflections: ‘I Have No Room In My Soul to Remember the Disappointments’

In honor of Pride Month, the critical contribution of our LGBTQIA+ rabbinic and Jewish community, and the 35^th anniversary of the CCAR Report on Homosexuality in the Rabbinate, the CCAR is honored to share the stories of the experiences of LGBTQIA+ Reform rabbis.

When I realized I was different from the other boys, not actually knowing what gay meant, the idea of embracing the “other” made it into my consciousness. I loved my connection to Judaism—after all, my father was a lifelong Jewish educator, and my late mother loved being president of the sisterhood and our congregation, which inspired me to spend my life helping others. The collision of Judaism and my blossoming gay life cemented the fact that the rabbinate was my calling.

In the late 1970s, there was no place for an openly gay man to become a rabbi. I found solace at Congregation Or Chadash in Chicago, a haven for the gay and lesbian Jew, where I made lifelong friends—at least lifelong for those who survived the AIDS epidemic, which decimated my social circle in the 1980s. By 1990, it was clear to me that applying to rabbinical school as an out gay man would be my lifelong goal.

I was ready for rabbinical school, but rabbinical school wasn’t ready for me. It took a year of Hebrew study before I applied a second time, after being rejected the year before, most likely by a committee unwilling to make history. So in 1991, I was the one who made history, and made my way to the HUC-JIR Year in Israel program, hoping that I would be able to be a congregational rabbi after my years of study.

I was the last one in my class to be placed.

Now, on the 35th anniversary of gay and lesbian rabbinic students who were the trailblazers at HUC-JIR and in the Reform Movement, I have no room in my soul to remember the disappointments, only the triumphs that I was able to accomplish with a supportive family made up of my relatives, friends, and colleagues.

In 2025, I consider myself to be the luckiest rabbi in America, serving a pulpit on a sub-tropical island in the Gulf of Mexico, and basking in the pride of my accomplishments both personal and professional. I remain grateful for the happy years I spent with my ex-partner and continue to bask in the joy of the accomplishments of my son, Floyd. I am proud to be who I am, and proud to be what I am.

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Rabbi Peter Kessler is a CCAR member and serves Congregation B’nai Israel in Galveston, Texas. He is originally from Chicago and was ordained by the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in 1995. He earned his Doctor of Divinity in May of 2021.